SADNESS BROUGHT ABOUT A FRIENDSHIP

With my whirlwind vacation trip to Orlando and New York, and now the nightmare start of what I thought would be my last quarter in school, I really haven't had an opportunity to write a meaningful post ~ something that gives away the real me.

Well, I happen to go into a friend's blog yesterday morning. You may recall me mentioning him before in a few prior posts. His name is Rob from ROBLOG. I was reading his Tuesday (9/12/06) post called ONE YEAR. While this post was about Rob 'remembering' a dear friend and ex-partner who had passed away, it brought about another sort of remembrance for me. I think the easiest way to start with what I have to say in this post is by giving you a portion of the content I left under Rob's blog article Comments section:

"So you posted about the anniversary. Strangely it hit me yesterday (9/12) while I was getting ready to bolt out the door for my first class of the fall quarter...I had quickly checked your blog to see if you had posted. I caught a glimpse of the DIVERSION post and it triggered.

I remembered. I remembered when I first read your blog and those posts about Chuck, thinking Chuck past away on my first day of Fall Semester class 2005. See the connection again...the anniversary yesterday was on my first day of class again, and there was no guarantee I would have had classes the same day.

When I got home last night from classes, I checked your blog to see if you had posted any article. It was too late to call you, I thought. You were in posting about 25 mins after I was in your blog.

So to the point...you're just where you should be. We all told you you'd get there in your own time, that the pain would diminish, but that a part of you would always miss Chuck. And look at the other things it has helped you to do...focus on your relationship with F***, write about your brother's death, etc. And well, hopefully, brought another friend into your life...at least I hope you feel that way as your openness about that event brought me into blogland for good, gave me only my second gay friend (at the time), and the courage to start to be comfortable with my gay self.

Perhaps this is too much to place here on your blog, but quite frankly, I want those that read your blog to know what an incredible person you are. So indulge me bud!..."

It is funny how people come into your life and effect it in so many ways. They can be a support system, a source of friendship, a true confidant, a 'savior' of sorts, and so much more. I was fortunate enough to have stumbled across Rob's blog back on November 3, 2005. I actually found him through his ex-partner's profile on BigMuscleBear.com one night as I was trying to pull myself out of long bout of depression (over another on-line profile situation which I have blogged about here too). Somehow the pain I read about in the posts over his ex's death and about Rob's own feelings transcended my own. So I left my first blog comment on his site and from there somehow started to pan out to other blog sites. In fact, I met Pete, through Rob's site and there's another friendship that is not going away anytime soon.

Rob began to communicate back through replies on the comments I left. From there a dialogue initiated and the 'door cracked open' for a friendship. The kicker for me was when he got wind that I was going to be in San Francisco in late December '05. He actually asked me if I would like to meet up somewhere for coffee or a bite to eat. I was floored and, of course, I had to say yes. Here was my first opportunity to really see if I could interact in this new community I was now part of. We met up that one day in late December and since then the friendship has evolved. It continues to evolve.

Rob has come a long way since that day. His hurt over the loss of his ex seems to have healed (I know it has!). I have come a long way. Rob's willingness to be open, to be genuine, to be himself, to invite me into his life...gave me a chance to feel comfortable in my shoes. For that I am extremely grateful.

So on this day I remember a friend too! Hugs Rob!

I borrowed this from your site Rob...hope you don't mind. (Rob, Summer '06)