PAIN FROM WITHIN ~ YOU'RE IN OUR THOUGHTS TONIGHT

YESTERDAY seemed so full of promise, of joy. But last night I sat outside in the coolness of the night, staring at the stars. I was thinking about someone that I care for very much. The odd thing ~ I have never met this person, 'in person.' This individual is Marc from Voyeur Nation. I think most of my readers know Marc and what he is going through at the moment. He has touched so many lives.

Last night, as I sat staring at the evening sky, I thought 'How could someone have stood up to so many odds for so many years, fighting." I honestly do not think I could have gone on for so long, battling constantly. It takes a special spirit to fight onward, day after day. But it takes an equally special spirit to realize when life has given him/her more gifts than he or she could have ever imagined or expected and to finally be able to say, "I'm ready, if it is my time to go."

As Marc and Josh have told us in various posts over the last few days, Marc's condition is not good. When one is coming to grips with the imminence of death somewhere in the near future, it's often hard to concede to it, to let people know how you truly are feeling. How do I know...I watched my dad die of cancer. I remember my mom, myself, a brother and sister in one gathering, trying desperately to get my dad to talk about how he was feeling. He was barely conversing with anyone once the doctors had told him his time was short, period. He had fought so hard to battle his two cancers, and now his spirit was broken. Mind you I am not saying Marc's is broken. On the contrary...he's a fighter and I want that fighter to surprise the world yet again. We all simply need to be cognizant of life's inevitable conclusion.

I think the last thing running through my mind last night was that any pain I have experienced in my lifetime pales in comparison to Marc's pain and suffering. And in part, as to what Josh must be experiencing, having lost one man in his life that he cherished and to know that another, so close to him, is on that same journey.

So the heavy heart reigned last night and still does today. I have always been a sensitive, compassionate person. And for once I feel happy to be that person. It tells me I am capable of feeling for others - for those close, for those far away, for those related by blood, for those who are a part of my circle of friends, and for those not known but traveling this journey, we call life, with me.

Marc...I've said this on your last blog post. Relish and enjoy your time with family and close friends. We, here in blogland, understand that necessity. Josh...Hug that brother of yours like you have never done before and let him know that you love him,that you are there for him.

Yes...last night we all had heavy hearts. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.

BIG BLOGLAND HUGS TO YOU BOTH!