HERE'S TO THE WORLDS' BEST FRIENDS

Well I am here typing away on Pete's computer in beautiful Schenectady (Skin-eck-ta-dee), New York, pondering my time spent in Orlando, Florida. I can remember the night, some three months ago in May, mulling around this hairbrain idea of having a so called Southeast Bloggers' Gathering. I had been getting so many comments, emails, etc. from bloggers and commenters visiting my newly established blog. Some of them were beginning to feel like family. So in a passing conversation with Pete, I threw out the idea of this gathering and asked him if he'd meet up with me in Florida should the Florida bloggers be up for the call. And so I shared the idea with Spider, whom I' had been emailing and just starting to speak with on the phone. Without any hesitation, Spider welcomed the thought and promised to convey the idea to those bloggers he was meeting in Orlando. The positive response snowballed from there.

And now, the long-awaited event has come and gone. This is my second blogger gathering in the past four months, the last being in San Francisco where I spent time with the likes of BrettCajun, Moby, Homer, Kel, Dan, Chad, and Brandon. This go-around I spent time with 6 totally different personalities, Spider, Hypoxic, Sorted, Derek, Cola Boy, and Pete. If I were asked to compare the two events, I couldn't because they were two totally different experiences, each unique. When I went to the April SanFrancisco gathering, I was perhaps a bit more cautious and admittedly focused on getting to know one particular person. Those S.F. relationships have since grown proportionately as some of those individuals have become better acquainted with me through the blog I established after the Bay Area event. However, my Orlando experience was far more relaxed. I knew well in advance that the people I was to meet would be true to their image in every imaginable way. These six men, Spider, Hypoxic, Sorted, Derek, Cola Boy, and Pete, are in every essense of the word...FRIENDS! They are what I envision as my family of choice. While I know each of them has uniquely different views on issues, I know that they will always accept me for who I am and how I chose to live my life, even if it may fall a tad outside 'perceived gay norms.' For that element of welcoming and sense of comfort I am eternally grateful. To our Orlando hosts, Spider, Sorted, and Hypoxic, thank you from the bottom of my heart for an experience that will be cherished for the rest of my life. Thank you for the incredible time spent at Island of Adventure, for the evening at Savoy's checking out all the hunky waiters/dancers...ugh!, for the airboat trip, for the tour of the city, for the KANSAS concert in downtown, for the numerous meals at all your local hangouts, and for that special 'Ribs and Martini' dinner at Sorted's condo. You guys ROCK as hosts! Hell...Orlando ROCKS!

So where does that leave things? Pete and I arrived in his hometown yesterday, Tuesday. We were greeted with rain but I don't ever let that stop things. Pete was most gracious in giving me the grand-overview tour of Albany and Schenectady. The arhictecture and neigborhood developments are so different from Orlando ~ old brownstones, older brick buildings with remarkable cornice detail. Again the desinger in me was taking over...I have already been planning the urban redevelopment and revitalization of Albany...hehehe! We finished my first day by hitting Cornell's Italian Restaurant in the Little Italy quarters of Schenectady~ a fitting way to end the day. Tomorrow I am not sure what we are doing but those plans are in the hands of Pete, my New York host. I can't wait!!

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (#16)

Another Tuesday, so it's time for my HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? post for the week.
Stepping right into it, my question for you today is:

How do you like to be seated in the plane ~ aisle, window, or sandwiched in between the the other seats?

For me, give me a 1-2 hour flight and I want a window seat so I can enjoy the sights. Put me in a long-distance domestic flight or international flight...the airlines better have an aisle seat for me. Otherwise expect one irritable passenger. I need to stretch this 6 foot frame, namely the legs, into the aisle so I can be one happy camper.

So let me and the readers know what you like.

As for posting about my trip thus far, I am hoping to do that in the next day or so from Pete's home in New York. Have just been running short on time. And it's a bit tight when three people are trying to share the same computer. Hugs to all. Miss not reading all of you on a daily basis!

FRIENDS AT FRIEND'S

Well...this is my first post since arriving in Orlando, Florida. I am having incredible fun. I arrived here Wednesday about fifteen minutes late but had a great flight. As I walked into the main airport terminal I was greeted by a tremendous smile from Spider. What a great feeling. A new friend! He truly has been the most gracious host, welcoming me, and now Pete (yes, he arrived yesterday in tact!) into his quaint little COTTAGE. I love it. I've had to restrain myself from providing oodles of design advise! No, no. It truly is Spider's place and I love it. It's just the designer in me always wanting to improve something.

Thursday it was off to the beach for some fun in NATURE. Needless to say that was taken away thanks to arriving at the State beach and finding out that the beach had been closed due to the upcoming Shuttle launch this Sunday. But we quickly came up with another plan of attack...Islands of Adventure for an afternoon of rollercoaster riding. GREAT CALL! I hadn't ridden a rollercoaster in over fifteen years. And I love'em! This big man turned into one big kid. Spider had to tell me to slow down a couple of times. Hehehe! Spider and I finished out the day with a nice quiet dinner at Market City Cafe right on Lake Eola. And dessert? Let's just say it was 'yummy.'

Yesterday (Friday) Spider and I had lunch with Cola Boy of Mountain Cabin. CB is a riot. He had me laughing constantly. Let's say I learned a little more about Spider. *EG* CB manages to keep this straight, serious face while ripping out the one-liners. I love him. After that, Spider and I had to make a quick run over to good ol' BEST BUY Electronics. This bud here needed to pick up another digital camera as the one I borrowed went on the fritz. Hence the reason you have not seen any posted photos of the trip thus far. I promise that there will be some from this point forward.

The big event yesterday was the gathering at Friend's, one of Orlando's gay-owned restaurants catering to the local gay community. It was Prime Rib night. That was ticket for the night! In any event, I met Hypoxic face-to-face for the first time after talking to him several times on the phone prior to coming out here. A great person. He is a another keeper for a friend. And Hypoxic...."PANDAS!!!" LOL. Sorted was there too. Sorted is Mr. Social. He provided a large chunk of our entertainment and socializing last night by knowing half the of Orlando's gay population. Let's just say that I had an inside joke going with him last night with my imaginary tally board. I lost count after 69! Lordy, did I say 69. Sorted is another keeper. The group was rounded out with Spider and Pete (the ShortBus). They were keepers a long time ago.

The night finished at Savoy's, one of the local gay bars. Lots of eye-candy! Hypoxic and Pete were quite content in their strategically-located, outdoor patio seats. They had a clear view of the hunky waiters and bartenders coming and going out of the bar's break/dressing room. Let's just say I saw a number of raised eyebrows and smirks going on between those two. Again I lost count.

And so that leaves today, Saturday. Yes Spider, this post is coming to a close! Patience bud, patience! Derek is joining up with us at around 11am today. Then it's off to go airboating, possibly catch a free local concert headlining Kansas, and then dinner and whatever later tonight. Hugs! More to come....

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (#15) MIXED WITH A TWIST

So much has transpired this week and it seems there is a need to start moving back toward some normalcy. Marc, you are not forgotten, and I know you'd want things running status quo. With that, I am stepping back into my HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? cycle, one day late. However, I am going to twist things up a bit this week.

What I want to ask you this week is:
In one sentence, long or short, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED? What I am asking in essence is what would you like to appear on your epitaph. Let it be about you...serious, comical, enlightening, whatever. If you have more than one sentence to put forth what you need to say, then by all means don't let me stop you. Post it.

My first thought in my head for an epitaph was a tad X-rated and comical but probably not representative of me... "SIMPLY FLIRTATIOUS, FUN, AND ONE BIG ******!" (Clean that mind up guys!) But nah! I think I would want it to say..."HE'S SIMPLY BEGINNING ANOTHER JOURNEY OF FRIENDSHIP."

***On a side note, at 9:24am PST I begin my flight trek out to Orlando. I am so excited. I am not sure if I will be posting at all. I am going to try to see if my dear Spider will let me borrow some time on his computer while I am in Orlando. With some luck I'll be able to post some pics directly off my camera, depends. I am hoping to do the same at Pete's house in northern New York state before the two of us head down to New York City. Otherwise I am gone until Tuesday, September 5. Hugs y'all!

MY SPIRIT SOARED (For Marc And Josh)

I was truly amazed yesterday at all the wonderful tributes left in blogland for Marc of Voyeur Nation. I believe he would have been overwhelmed by all the blog readers who shared how he had touched their lives. I know that each of us will keep a part of Marc alive in us whether it be through participation in Gay Men Rule, through what we chose to write about and how we write it in our blogs, through those we ultimately reach out to willingly and unselfishly.

So today, I have chosen to postpone my typical Tuesday HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? post until Wednesday. Death often stirs so many emotions and for some, a need to let go of fears and sadness. In the place of my usual Tuesday post, I have a poem in honor of Marc and a loving brother, Josh, who stood by his side those last hours. Hugs!

MY SPIRIT SOARED

My spirit soared high today
In this all too familiar, but oh, so unfamiliar world.
Reminiscing of all that has passed,
Yearning for a day far more beautiful.

As it soared, my spirit’s senses were lost,
Lost in earth’s pleasurable abundances.
Abundances bestowed by a Heavenly Father,
A Father far greater than one can comprehend.

My spirit felt nature’s cool breezes
Like loving caresses a mother bestows upon her baby.
It basked in the piercing rays of the sun,
As if they were the smiles of every human beaming the day’s joy.

My spirit felt the midday’s gentle rains,
Its streams like soft tears cast to the ground.
The soul relished the ever-sweet scent of earth’s gardens
Like the overwhelming feeling one has when arriving home.

But my spirit grew weary,
Like a child stumbling to the ground.
It somehow knew this pain was temporary
Much like the darkness of night casts on daylight.

Now my spirit flounders aimlessly in space
Much like a newborn puppy clings to its mother’s breast.
Until another day beckons
Like an explosion far greater than before.

As my spirit soars this time,
It recognizes this day is different than any other.
For the day’s beauty is far more brilliant.
Its aura far more suggestive of a place called home.

And then my spirit languishes in this place of peace and serenity,
As if an eagle nesting high above the forests’ tree tops.
My spirit has no other desire
For it is HOME in Heaven’s garden.

Author: Tony

A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR A FRIEND

........CONSCIOUS - SMILING - BRAVE

The words used to describe Marc's last moments here on earth before departing for HOME. My choice today is to honor Marc with silence. Miss you already!

The Gay Dude ~ Voyeur Nation
Headed HOME: 8/20/06, 2:45 pm
XXXOOOOXXXOOO

THE BLOGGING DOLDRUMS

I find myself at a loss on what to write about today. I have reason to be excited. I am off to Orlando in three days to spend time with some incredible guys. I have the next two weeks to take in sights I have never seen in other parts of the U.S.

But I think I know why the doldrums have surfaced again. I was much more upbeat today after writing my post about Marc at Voyeur Nation. I got my workout in and lounged by the pool. I had my phone chats with Pete and Spider. All was fine. Then I came home, pulled up my blogs that I like to read, and proceeded to read them one by one. I got to Gay Men Rule, read Josh's post there, entitled THANKS (8/20/06), and my mood changed 180 degrees. How can I write knowing that someone is leaving us very soon? My mind has no room for other thoughts.

So about all I have to share is what I obtained for my grades last quarter. Those results were delivered by the good ol' U.S. Postal Service Friday. I walked away with 2 "A's" and 1 "B." The A's came in my Ecology class (remember I had told you in a post that I was confident I had aced the test!!) and in my Senior Portfolio class. I was most happy with the Senior Portfolio grade after the money I invested in getting the help of a graphic artist. My B came in my Senior Project class...a bit disappointing but not the end of the world. You all know how I am struggling with these last few classes anyway, desiring to get back out into the real working world again.

That's about all I have to put out today. Thinking of you Marc and Josh!

PAIN FROM WITHIN ~ YOU'RE IN OUR THOUGHTS TONIGHT

YESTERDAY seemed so full of promise, of joy. But last night I sat outside in the coolness of the night, staring at the stars. I was thinking about someone that I care for very much. The odd thing ~ I have never met this person, 'in person.' This individual is Marc from Voyeur Nation. I think most of my readers know Marc and what he is going through at the moment. He has touched so many lives.

Last night, as I sat staring at the evening sky, I thought 'How could someone have stood up to so many odds for so many years, fighting." I honestly do not think I could have gone on for so long, battling constantly. It takes a special spirit to fight onward, day after day. But it takes an equally special spirit to realize when life has given him/her more gifts than he or she could have ever imagined or expected and to finally be able to say, "I'm ready, if it is my time to go."

As Marc and Josh have told us in various posts over the last few days, Marc's condition is not good. When one is coming to grips with the imminence of death somewhere in the near future, it's often hard to concede to it, to let people know how you truly are feeling. How do I know...I watched my dad die of cancer. I remember my mom, myself, a brother and sister in one gathering, trying desperately to get my dad to talk about how he was feeling. He was barely conversing with anyone once the doctors had told him his time was short, period. He had fought so hard to battle his two cancers, and now his spirit was broken. Mind you I am not saying Marc's is broken. On the contrary...he's a fighter and I want that fighter to surprise the world yet again. We all simply need to be cognizant of life's inevitable conclusion.

I think the last thing running through my mind last night was that any pain I have experienced in my lifetime pales in comparison to Marc's pain and suffering. And in part, as to what Josh must be experiencing, having lost one man in his life that he cherished and to know that another, so close to him, is on that same journey.

So the heavy heart reigned last night and still does today. I have always been a sensitive, compassionate person. And for once I feel happy to be that person. It tells me I am capable of feeling for others - for those close, for those far away, for those related by blood, for those who are a part of my circle of friends, and for those not known but traveling this journey, we call life, with me.

Marc...I've said this on your last blog post. Relish and enjoy your time with family and close friends. We, here in blogland, understand that necessity. Josh...Hug that brother of yours like you have never done before and let him know that you love him,that you are there for him.

Yes...last night we all had heavy hearts. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.

BIG BLOGLAND HUGS TO YOU BOTH!

JUST 5 MORE DAYS...

...until I am on my way to Orlando, Florida, for the gathering of Southeast bloggers. Then it will be on to New York - Albany and New York City - with my bud, Pete (The Shortbus - tentatively disbanded). By the way, Pete is commenting on blogs occassionally as Heavycream1971, for those of you who read him.

I am so excited to meet everyone and to see yet one more state in the U.S. (haven't seen Florida). That incredible superstud, Spider, has offered Pete and me accomodations at The Cottage and we graciously accepted. I am actually coming into Orlando two days early so I can spend some 'extra' time there. Sounds like we'll be hitting the beach one day...someone tell me if the eye-candy will be in abundance, pul-leeze! Looks like the group gathering in Orlando will include Pete (The Shortbus), Hypoxic, Sorted, Derek and woofy partner Mike, Spider, possibly ColaBoy, and myself among possible others. If there are any last minute people that would like to join us, let myself or Spider know via email. We'll miss people like Brad and Justin, Kel and his partner, Marc, Joshua, etc. ~ perhaps another time.

On August 29th, I'll be leaving Orlando and moseying on up through Albany to see Pete's hometown, just outside the Albany city limits. I'll be there for a few days and then Pete and I are bogeying down to NY City. This will be my second time back to the Big Apple. If I have any readers from NYCity or nearby, Pete and I would love to meet up with you in the city, if you're game. Just let us know. And if anybody has any recommendations on what to see or do, outside the major landmarks which I saw last time, let me know. That goes for any good eateries, restaurants, shows, bars/nightlife and other things to do.

BEAST, I'M COMING! GRRR!

20 THINGS

I happen to be reading Josh's meme post yesterday and thought, "I have never done something like this before." So I have decided to partake in it. At some point I am thinking of putting a single question and answer post out there so my readers can ask a few questions about me. But for now this will have to do. Here goes! (I have kept a few things vague for a reason/my family so bear with me.)

1. I grew up in a city just south of San Francisco, by about 7-8 miles.
2. I have 2 Brothers and 4 sisters and I am extremely fortunate to still have close relationships with each one of them. Yes we do fight but the bond has never broken.
3. I live in southern California in Orange County (that bastion of Republicanism) while I am finishing up school. I am about a 50 minute drive from LA and 50 minutes from San Diego, when traffic is normal. LOL!!!
4. 2 of my sisters live within 3 miles of me, the ones with all the kids so I have lots of fun visits with the nieces and nephews.
5. The rest of my immediate family are in Northern California—the SF Bay and Sacramento areas.
6. I am the oldest in the family. The youngest is 11 years behind me. 6 of us have spans of about 16-18 months separating the next sibling in line.
7. Perhaps shocking to some people, I still am active in my faith (Catholic)…for me it gives me a sense of peace, but it presently is a struggle finding balance for reasons I am sure you all know.
8. I have never really been politically-minded…I vote my heart and on what key elements are important to me. I am sorry...it's who I am and in what I believe.
9. I have voted Republican, Democratic, and Independent at times!
10. I finally came to grips with my gay self about 18 months ago though I am still on my journey to coming out to my family. I have a strong feeling they know but timing for me needs to be right. I’m close though. Part of that holding off is for me and part is because I care about my family. My true gay friends understand that!
11. I worked almost 18 years in the claims insurance field, 11 of those in claims management. Ask me anything about a personal injury claim’s value!!
12. At 43 I technically retired…I took an early retirement based on my combination of years of service within the company and my age. I needed to move on for purpose of life fulfillment and yes, general sanity.
13. I actually have a retirement pension but I am not collecting it…the longer its sits the more I will get per month when I do activate it. Trust me, it’s not THE POT OF GOLD!
14. I am in school, full time, not working, retooling myself to be an interior designer ~ just one quarter left and a side Internet Art History class to take. I will have Bachelors degree #2.
15. I am a perfectionist, which I try so hard to back off of. Guess old habits are a challenge to break.
16. I have never been with a woman (yes Josh, this is what we have in common…thank you for making me feel secure with myself on that one bud!)
17. I have never, ever touched a drug, not even pot, I drink only socially, and have smoked once in my life (a cigarette that is) - I was whiter than a ghost. Now, put me in a room of smoke and within 10-15 minutes, guaranteed, I will have an instant migraine.
18. I have had a few one night stands and oddly enough, all at this point are friends now.
19. My mother is still alive at 76 but my father, who I miss more than I ever, passed away at 71 in 2002, from two years of battling two types of cancer. Love you DAD!
20. I want a man who can love a man for the person he is in his entirety…not solely on looks. And I know... there has to be a connection and it may not be obvious what that connection is at first…sometimes it’s a ‘gut-instinct.’
**Bonus: The first guy I slept with (can't reveal his name for privacy purposes) was a handsome 5'-10" bodybuilder/masseuse, weighing in at 255, whose chest and arms were absolutely incredible and rock hard. He was also a dynamite kisser, which I love to do anyway. The following morning when I woke up to this hunk next to me I actually had severely chapped lips...they hurt. Of course I sucked it in to get some more of those juicy kisses in the morning before leaving his place. Does that suggest how long we may have been kissing the night before. Wahoo!

WORD PLAY ~ DUPLICITY

DUPLICITY
One entry found for duplicity.
Main Entry: du·plic·i·ty
Pronunciation: du-'pli-s&-tE also dyu-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
Etymology: Middle English duplicite, from Middle French, from Late Latin duplicitat-, duplicitas, from Latin duplex
1 : contradictory doubleness of thought, speech, or action; especially : the belying of one's true intentions by deceptive words or action
2 : the quality or state of being double or twofold
3 : the technically incorrect use of two or more distinct items (as claims, charges, or defenses) in a single legal action

Let's get rockin' with another Wednesday WORD PLAY ! Keepin' the post short and sweet! Today's word is DUPLICITY.

Usage: We all need to recognize love's duplicity - a feeling simply out of friendship, the other out of a connection far more deep, intense, and personal. What we hope not to experience is someone's duplicious act, creating an environment of love that is really non-existent.

So again, the "play" portion...any comment you leave must use the word duplicity in it. Your response can be about anything ~ the post, me (watch it!), something about you, something happening in your life. Knock yourself out thinking of something serious, humorous, or off-beat to comment about. Just have fun with it!

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (#14)

Yippee Skippee! Do ya know what today is? If you uttered those six dear words, How Do You Like It? Tuesday, ya nailed it!

Heading straight to the question of the week, inquiring minds want to know...
How do you like to spend your evenings with that special someone? (And for now, restrain yourself from mad, passionate sex as a response. LOL) Would it be cuddling on the sofa watching a movie or TV program, having a romantic dinner and great conversation, or finding that special foreplay thing to get your honey all work up for the later part of the evening?

Hmmm! I'm so confused. They all sound HOT!!! I know. I know. Let's try a nice romantic dinner and conversation but let the 'dessert' be that 'special' foreplay thingie. Now I am a happy camper.

So no holding back. Lay out those details for us to read. We want to know.

A SPECIAL THOUGHT FOR A FELLOW BLOGGER AND FRIEND

My closest friends, blogger and personal, know that I am sometimes a hopeless romantic (so shoot me) and that a compassionate heart lies behind this body. Josh’s post, I KEEP SMILING, over at Gay Men Rule, this past Saturday (8/12), struck a cord with me. Don’t ask me why, it just did! I was inspired to write another of poem of thoughts. So this post is for Josh – hope it at least mirrors a fraction of his relationship, thoughts, and feelings.

THIS PRECIOUS GIFT

Today I felt such emptiness.
But something told me it had to be done.
Time to look ahead at life.
You’d have wanted me to.

How do I start?
Who do I seek?
Will he compare
Dare I think!

We gave each other so many years.
Years of sharing,
Years of growth,
Years of unforgettable happiness.

And yes, there were moments.
Moments of tears,
Moments of anger,
Moments of pain.

But one thing always made it worthwhile.
The incredible love we had for each other.
A love that will always remain, my dear,
Locked away in the depths of my heart.

While that empty feeling came today.
It left just as fast.
Fond memories now give me strength.
Strength to forge ahead with life.

So one last time,
I breathe deeply,
Smile tenderly,
And shift my precious ring.

From left to right hand it goes.
An awkward moment.
Lo, the thought crosses my mind...
“I know—it’s time to move forward.”

So my dear,
Help this wounded spirit soar,
Higher than before.
‘Til one day I can return…

This Precious Gift.

Author: Tony

A TREASURE OR AN ADONIS?

I have gotten a kick out of this little 'name' game that I saw first on Brad's Southern Expressions which was actually taken from Gumby and subsequently posted on Spider's blog

I plugged both my nickname and formal birth name in and this is what came up! I was peeing in my pants, laughing so hard.

Am I really a treasure? But I'll say this...I won't turn down offering naughty 'yeses!' Hehehe!
And I can tell you this...I am not an Adonis. I wish. Put me in Jack Radcliffe's body (P.S. Click both his first and last names separately) and I'd say, 'hell yes.' Woof! My eternal sweetheart. And to think I came so close to meeting him at my buddy's housewarming party this past April! Why did he decide not to show when he confirmed? He happens to be a friend of my buddy. OK, now I have digressed. Back to the point. As for 'needing thrilling hugs and overwhelming, naughty yeses'... oh yah, I'll take those too!

I think if I get a moment, I have a surprise for my new found collective buddies over at Gay Men Rule. Should be fun to see, if I get a free moment to do it. Hope all of you are having a great weekend so far. I have been 'bronzing' the last few days by my sister's pool. Got to be sure I look my best on that private but public beach outside Orlando in less that two weeks. And well I have someone else to impress too. ;-P

**TO MY CLOSEST FRIENDS WHO I HAVE PASSED MY LAST NAME ALONG TO, TYPE THAT IN. YOU'LL REALLY PEE IN YOUR PANTS. I LOVE IT. GRRRR!**

Later everyone!

THE MUSCLES ARE SPENT

Today I initiated my weightlifting routine/protein diet program again that school, this past quarter, had taken away from me. Three whole months off my program after spending 6 months getting to a point where I was comfortable with what I had done with my body and proud. Part of me resents school for taking away the results I had so diligently worked towards achieving.

But you know. I am not giving up that easy. Given the time lapse, I started things today by spending 10-15 minutes stretching. I then went into 25 minutes of cardio on the elliptical. I was sweating bullets but not 'panting' to hard after the workout. Then it was on to the weights. I worked my upper body ~ chest and arms. I also slipped in some sit-ups because as BrettCajun says, 'the ponch was starting to show a tad.' See Brett and I share Taco Bell stories. I'm a #3, #8, or #9 usually. But unlike that crazy Cajun who loves to pilfer said establishment daily (hehehe! - JK'ing bud!), I only did Taco Bell once a week during the last school quarter on Thursdays, my full day at school from 9am to 9pm.

Just two hours later and I can feel the chest muscles tightening and feeling a bit sore. All that prior hard work....sheeze! So I am shooting to look like this picture from 4 months ago...
I am not too far off though, fortunately. BrettCajun eat your heart out! Who says you can't look great at 46!!

MY 100TH POST ~ ONE SPECIAL PERSON TO BRIGHTEN EVERY DAY

My 100th post ~ Damn!...already and over 8000 blogsite hits in under 3 months. Well I thought the following was appropriate for this post, given what the blogging world seems to be throwing my way since becoming a part of it. So here goes.......
--------------

Life is so good when the right person or people are in it. And well, I have to admit, I have some good people in it at the moment. Even one that makes me feel fantastic all the time. It's great to have someone there to brighten your day when all else seems to be going down hill; to have someone there who you don't feel is judging you and who listens; to have someone who makes you feel like your day is not ending right if you have not at least spoken to that person once during the day. Lucky me, I seem to have that at the moment. It's an incredible moment to hold onto and savor, even if you don't know what the future holds.

You all probably know that feeling, as I know some of you are partnered or have been partnered. Nothing gives me a better feeling than when I see two people who are utterly happy, who love each other for what each is rather than what the rest of the world around them might dictate. If you haven't already picked this up about me, I try my hardest to not be judgmental about people around me. Am I perfect...HELL NO! But I do enjoy meeting people (though reserved at first), and experiencing them for who they are ~ mind, body, and heart.

So here's to the future, for what it may hold...to that special someone. I'd love to hear your thoughts...a special invite to those I know are or have been partnered at some point: Dan of Turning 40, BrettCajun, Derek of Past, Present, and Future, Ynager, Mark from Zeitzeuge, Kel from Rambling Along in Life..., 'GD' from The Voyeur Nation, of course Joshua from I Keep Smiling. And not to forget you Spider!!! Anyone else, single (includes you Pete) or otherwise, feel free to chime in with your thoughts. Make those comments as long or short as you like.

FUNNY - This picture came up when I google - imaged 'gay bear love.' Now if that doesn't say, "I'm here...come and get me!" Woof!

IS THERE AN ART TO COMMUNICATION?

Funny how something as simple as basic communication can be so complicated. It's complexity seems to be driven by so many variables ~ maturity, sensitivity, compassion, the ability to listen well, anxieties, depression, frustration, and on and on and on. They're countless it seems.

Why must it be this way? Everything seems to be taken so literal these days. Why don't we all cut people some slack. I'll be the first to say that "little ol' me" is guilty of this at times. It really does boil down to our ability to cast FEAR (and pride) aside. I think so often none of us wants to be wrong, to be made to look like an idiot, to have it implied that our point of view is insignificant. Am I off-base here? Is there an art to communication? What do you all think?

***Looks like I have issues with my Blogger Comment counter. There are replies.

WORD PLAY ~ ABUNDANCE

ABUNDANCE
Pronunciation: &-'b&n-d&n(t)s
Function: noun
1 : an ample quantity : PROFUSION
2 : AFFLUENCE, WEALTH
3 : relative degree of plentifulness

Yet another Wednesday WORD PLAY has crept up. So gonna keep it short and sweet! Today's word is ABUNDANCE. While this word may connote more positive images, it can suggest elements of negativity. Maybe my 'usage' example might give you an idea.

Usage: An abundance of love within a family doesn't always suggest that life is 'peachy'. Remember families are a collection of individuals and no individual is perfect. Need I say more as to what's still on my mind?

So again, the "play" portion...any comment you leave must use the word abundance in it. Your response can be about anything ~ the post, me (watch it!), something about you, something happening in your life. Knock yourself out thinking of something serious, humorous, or off-beat to comment about. Just have fun with it!

P.S. I am heading out the door early this morning, 4:30 - 5am, heading back home to southern California. I'll be utilizing my travel time through the Central Valley (Dullsville, USA, as I have blogged about in the past) and the early, quiet moments of the day to contemplate the days ahead.

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (#13) / JUST A SPOONFUL OF FRIENDSHIP TAKES THE BLUES AWAY

OK, it's been two weeks since my last HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? post. I hope you're ready for me to start'em up again.

So let's pour the coals to it and get started with this week's question. Since we are in the midst of summer vacation time, I thought I would throw this one at you...
How do you like to take your vacations ~ short but action-packed, long and leisurely, or the best of these two 'worlds?'

Hmmm! For me, the length of the vacation I enjoy is determined by the location I am going. I have to say that overall a 10 day vacation is just about right for me. My vacation needs to have a certain amount of stimuli (oh yah baby - action-packed! ;-)) but it has to have a balance of leisure thrown in there. The only type of vacation that I can handle beyond 10 days is one where I am going abroad to a foreign country...for two reasons, an opportunity to get acclimated after a long tiresome flight and generally because of the abundance of history in a location.

So as always, fess up. Lay out those details for us to read.

PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SORTED LIVES, OFFICIALLY.

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JUST A SPOONFUL OF FRIENDSHIP TAKES THE BLUES AWAY

Yesterday started off blahsay given the reminence of the family vacation circumstance but it fast away with my BART ride into the city to visit with one good friend and to establish another. As I had blogged about earlier, I met up with Rob from Roblog. As I have mentioned before, Rob blogs too and he and I met up back in December for the first time. Since then I have come to value his friendship immensely. He truly is a most genuine spirit. We visited over lunch for about an 1 1/2 hours before he had to hustle back to work. The poor guy has had a string of bad luck with injuries during workout sessions. And guess what...he injured himself yesterday morning before seeing me. Rob, I wish you a speedy recovery and some sort of definitive response as to why this has been happening with some frequency.

After my visit I decided to take up an invite from the Untraveled Travel Guy who works nearby the location Rob and I had lunch. This was my first time meeting him. UTG is another genuine, well-spoken, approachable guy and I am so glad I made the effort to meet up with him. I see yet another friendship evolving. UTG blogs but perhaps with a bit more infrequency for now due to his hectic work schedule. If you have a chance, do stop by his blog, read a bit, and say hi. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. UTG, great seeing you yesterday.

So that does it for today. Wow, two posts for one day. I am definitely back and loving it.

I'M BACK FROM VACATION ~ BATTERED BUT NOT BEATEN

So I am back from Lake Tahoe but not quite home in southern California. I made a two day stop in the Bay Area to help one of my brothers out with his house (design advice and purchases) and to visit a friend and fellow blogger, Rob, from Roblog. I am hoping we will meet up later today at 1:30pm for lunch but if not, it will be Tuesday, noonish.

As for vacation, let's just say I am glad it is over for this year. Don't get me wrong, I have always enjoyed my family time at Tahoe and expect it will not be any different next summer. But this year simply was a disaster. Let's just say the entire family needs to work on communication and not being over-sensitive in our interpretations of each others words/actions, myself included. The vacation started out great for the first two days, then went south, looked like it was springing up again, and then took a major spiral downward. And now, I am finding out through the backdoor, as of late yesterday evening, that I am somehow involved in the latest family fallout. Out of respect for my family, I will say no more about the circumstances, other than I am hurting to some extent. I may find myself discussing something with my family that I have backed off discussing for sometime now. We'll get through it though...we always do.

Had hoped to post some pictures of Tahoe but my camera flaked out on me. Trust me though, the view and the weather were incredible.

My blues got me deep into thought and as a result this poem of sorts evolved. It may seem a bit dark and raw but it expresses my mood at the moment. Don't let it alarm you in any way...I am ok. I just needed to 'externalize' a bit as a release. I am just glad I have my blogger pals out there. It's good to be back. Hugs.

ALONE

Alone in my world.
Nowhere to go.
No one to listen.

I so often run to it
To escape my fears,
To gain some sense of purpose.

But does this 'world of mine' bring real peace?
The question resounds in my head a hundred fold.
I grow weary battling it.

Will this torment ever end?
Part of me says, " No."
That it is to be my life.

What I find difficult
Is reconciling myself to that torment.
So hard, so painful.

I wish this emptiness would cease.
That the spirit within me could be free.
Free to fly high, to spread stifled wings.

Alas, the reality.
The words and feelings will never be.
My heart, my soul trapped forever...

Alone in my world.

Author: Tony

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROQUE! If any of you read Woof of Steel and his Mighty Woofables, give a big happy birthday shout out to Roque.